


Of crystals and paintings

by Olem_Iwetus



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anal Sex, Clothes tearing, F/F, Fainting, Fantasy, Futa on Female, Futanari, Humor, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Other, Tentacles, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 05:13:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17155889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olem_Iwetus/pseuds/Olem_Iwetus
Summary: The Demon Lord was severely wounded in a battle with heroes. Needing Life Energy to heal himself, the Lord sends a group of succubi to gather it. One of the succubi tracks down a village girl and performs the necessary procedures.





	Of crystals and paintings

**Author's Note:**

> Request for Night+Crawler

The night fell upon the kingdom, enveloping the land with the shroud of darkness. Settlements and wilderness alike descended into silence, resting from their daily labors. One place, however, paid no heed to the night. Deep in the dark forest, atop of the unscalable mountain on the shore of the endless sea, the Demon Lord's castle blazed with activity. Minions bustled to and fro, furnaces roared with fire, sorcerers performed unspeakable rituals. The evil never rests. Evil toils, day and night, to bring the world to its knees.

Suddenly, a bright star appeared in the sky, its radiance illuminating the dark world. In a blink of an eye it flew downwards, scorching the skies in its wake and impacting the roof of one of the castle's towers, shaking it to its very core. Various minions of evil poured out of the hatch in the roof and surrounded the smoking crater, weapons at the ready. When the smoke cleared, the minions took a step back, fear evident in their eyes. A gray-haired man, looking wildly out of place in this host of imps, orcs and other creatures of darkness, walked to the middle of the crater as calmly as if he was taking an evening stroll.

“Do you require assistance, Your Majesty?” asked the man, fixing a tie on his immaculate tuxedo.

The Demon Lord's gaze – for it was the master of the castle himself lying in the crater – slowly focused on the man. His black armor was dented and burned in several places, left gauntlet, vambrace and pauldron missed entirely. His mighty axe was covered in blood to the handle, a testament to fierceness of the battle and the demon's martial prowess. A wide gash was marring his unprotected left hand, evidently causing him great pain, yet his eyes burned brighter than the fire of hell itself. Rousing himself to his hands and knees with inhuman exertion of willpower, he pounded the roof with his fist, bellowing in rage and frustration.

“I see.” replied the man, used to his sovereign's inability to admit a momentary weakness. Turning around, he pointed into the crowd. “Spineripper, Bonecrusher – help His Highness get to his quarters.”

***

A large hall before the castle's throne room was rather crowded this night – a gaggle of demons, summoned by the order of the Lord, was waiting before the throne room's gate. Were a weaker mortal to spend a mere few minutes in the company of these fiends, he or she would have lost his or her mind: these were succubi, the demons of lust. Female bodies of various sizes and forms, yet all of them impossibly perfect – most will fall for a typical hourglass figure, but voluptuous matrons, flat-chested teens and some other specimen were there as well, to sway those with a peculiar taste. Luxurious outfits barely covering the private areas. Small horns and spaded tails – to denote their hellish origin, and to add a particular inhuman flavor into bewildering cocktail. One should not entertain the thought that a mortal is safe if he or she can restrain themselves from falling to their knees before such magnificent creatures: initial impression is just the tip of the iceberg, for the succubi are masters of transformation, illusion and seduction.

For what reason their Lord has called them, the demons knew not. Most of them were actively speculating on this point:

“Can it be that our magnificent Lord finally decided to think about the future and share his bed with me?”

“Silence, you pipsqueak! If someone enters his bedroom tonight, it should be me!”

“Oh, I wonder if our Lord's scepter is as imposing as his sword...”

“It is! I've seen it once, when he pummeled a hero to death with it. Pure obsidian adorned with rubies and, from what I've heard, enchanted with souls of ten dragons!”

“No, not this scepter, you dummy!”

The gate flew open and the Lord's voice boomed:

“Come, my minions!”

The succubi ceased their yammer and hurried inside, eager to see their master. The same, however, wasn't true for him...

“Demons...” muttered the Lord, sweeping the throne room with his gaze. “I... Require your services today!”

“Finally!” exclaimed one of the ladies, her sensual voice dripping with excitement. “The day when my sovereign's iron heart softens enough to reciprocate my love is he-”

“Wench...” interrupted the ruler with a contemptuous scowl. “Your delusion is great if you think that I have desire to be anywhere near you!”

“See? Just like a told you!” beamed another succubus. “Who cares about you? It is me who is going to share His Highness' bedro-”

“SILENCE!” roared the Lord, slamming the throne's arm with his fist and flinching in pain. “Useless, bothersome minions! All of you! You were called here to do my bidding! Not to get something for yourselves, not to babble about your ludicrous fantasies and especially not to badger me with nonsense! Now, answer me – what is this?”

Demons turned their heads, following the direction of the Lord's gesturing hand. An enormous crystal was situated in the throne room, floating in midair above an ornate pedestal. The crystal's surface was dim and lifeless, but now and then a wisp of light appeared inside and was gone the next instant. A squeaky voice interrupted the silence:

“It's the castle's Life Crystal, which is a main source of Life Energy used by the Demon Lord to achieve his various goals.” said a short, mousy succubus. “At the present moment its visual condition invites an assumption that the Energy level is very low and is unsuitable for performing any but the most trivial of tasks. It was installed-”

“Very good, that's enough.” said the Lord, nodding in approval. The girl went silent and took off her glasses to wipe them. One may wonder, how in the world it was possible that a succubus wasn't a stunning beauty in its traditional sense, was wearing glasses and had freckles. Well, the succubi's trade involves conforming to desires of mortals, and someone may have an affection for such type of a body. Moreover, some particularly twisted individuals ignore the physical body altogether and pursue exotic traits such as “sincerity”, “kindness” or “sense of humor”...

“You've heard the bookworm.” continued the demonic ruler. “Life Energy is running low. This is unacceptable! Especially when I need it to heal this petty scratch! To add an insult to injury, our forces and supplies are exhausted by the war with humans! I don't have enough slaves to sacrifice and gain Energy! I cannot send my warriors to capture slaves, because they must stand at the ready to defend the castle! I have no expendable artifacts or treasures to bargain with the Dark Gods! So...” the Lord stopped, raking the audience with a weary gaze. “I have to rely upon you... Your talents in seduction and depravity are known to me. Seek out mortals and harvest the Energy from them by whatever means you possess. Now go and prove to me that you aren't as useless as I presume! Or come back empty-handed and meet my fist!”

“We won't let you down, Your Majesty!” stated a motherly succubus. “Meanwhile, make sure to get a good rest! Take the warmest blanket from the treasure room and ask Graham to brew some hot tea! Don't walk outside without a muffler, don't eat junk food and don't-”

“Oh, my Lord!” squealed another one, jumping up and down in excitement. “I'm ready to meet your fist right now! May I ask you to put on your spiked gauntlet before you shove your fist up my-”

“AAAAARGH!!! OUT!!! OUT!!!”

***

When the throne room's gate closed behind the minions, the demon spoke once more.

“I had it all, Graham... I had it all in the palm of my hand... But...”

“Yes, Your Majesty?” replied the gray-haired man, stepping out of the corner and coming closer to face his master.

“BUT THESE GODDAMN HEROES! They were there! All of them! I stood on the battlefield, knee deep in the corpses of their pawns and lackeys, when they challenged me! Not two of them! Not three! Ten! How in the hell's name they managed to gather in time to stop me?!”

“How unfortunate, Your Highness.”

“I can still see their blasted faces!” raved the Lord, rising from his throne with a considerable effort and pacing the throne room like a caged tiger. “Valentus the Brave, Protector of the Weak! I would have choked him to death with one arm if he was here! Flambes the Magnificent, that confounded archmage! I hope they patch his pretty face before our next battle so I can smash it again! Minerva the Saint, the glorified nun! How much would I've given to have her here, alone, right before me... To put my hands on her pretty body... And then... Looking right in her eyes...” continued the demon, his voice dropping to a malicious whisper before booming anew, “Tear her apart!”

“Understandable, Your Darkest Excellency.”

“But no... I have to sit here... Powerless... Lick my wounds... And hope that my minions would manage...”

The Lord approached the windows and looked outside, scowling at the night air.

“It's hopeless... Have you seen these wenches?” said the lord, a note of grief entering his tone. “All thoughts are about-” the lord made a motion of slapping his fist with the palm of the other hand, “putting meat swords into flesh scabbards.”

“Regrettably, yes, my Sovereign.” said Graham, reflecting how the Lord, ever true to his narrow vision of the world, had already forgotten the concern expressed by one of the succubi.

“Tomfoolery! The only sword that matters is the metal one that spills the blood of your enemies! But no, hellish folks these days forget the true path, the path of war and carnage! Back in my days...”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” replied Graham, propping himself against the wall. Here he goes rambling again. It will be a long night...

***

The lust-infused cohort emerged onto one of the castle's balconies, preparing to embark on their lascivious quest. One by one the demons disappeared, conjuring portals and stepping through them. A minute or two later most of them were gone, leaving behind a lone figure. The succubus walked to the edge of the balcony and stopped, gazing into the green mass of the night forest.

Meanwhile, a village girl was trudging through the forest with a haul of mushrooms she gathered, oblivious to the events unfolding in the castle. She got so carried away with hunting for mushrooms that only the moon rising above the treetops managed to shake her out of her single-minded purpose.

Judging by the looks of the girl, she was probably approaching her nineteenth or twentieth birthday, and those looks were nothing to be sneezed at. Her pretty, youthful face was usually framed by a gorgeous mane of blonde hair, though at the moment it was made into a single long plait hanging along her back. While a waspish waist and a lower body that was pleasantly thick in all the right places were bound to draw some stares, the stares were usually busy elsewhere, for the girl's breasts were so incredibly large that keeping one's eyes away from them was presenting a considerable difficulty. The girl's plain dress struggled to keep these monsters contained, clinging tightly to the bountiful flesh and wobbling in accord with it. Many a guy dreamed of marrying the girl, and many a girl shot daggers at her at every opportunity.

“Curse that cow and her knockers! Why can't she just wander into the forest, meet some vicious monster and get her head mounted on a bloodied pike?!” said the miller's daughter once. Or twice. Or at least once in a month.

Obviously, such a girl shouldn't be alone in the woods at night. However, she was living near this forest since she was born, so she knew a lot about it. While the forest was dark, there were dangerous beasts prowling in its depths and rumors were told about some evil warlord's lair in the heart of the forest, the girl was feeling at ease. Not far from her village, an enchanted crystal was installed on a post at the intersection of paths, its bright light illuminating the dark and unfriendly woods – as long as she was able to see its light and return to it, she was fine. And it seemed that gods and luck were on her side – no hungry beast emerged from the woods to devour her, no ruffian approached her with impudent suggestions.

The girl was forging her way along the winding path towards the light, stepping over gnarled roots and ducking under low-hanging branches, when a thought hit her.

“Huh?” she said to herself. “It looks as if the light hadn't got any closer during the last few minutes. Nah, that's impossible, I'm probably too tired and can't think straight.”

The girl returned her attention to the path, now and then glancing at the elusive light looming in the distance. To her relief, very soon the light got closer and she stepped into a clearing. The girl was about to smile when a sudden realization hit her. It wasn't the clearing she knew so well, the one where several trails converged into a larger path leading to the village.

To the right of her, a steer stone cliff was rising into the sky, a few rocks of various size lying by its base. On all other sides, a thick walls of trees and vegetation were situated, darkness looming between the boughs. Right in front of her an ethereal image of the crystal was hanging above the ground, and a few seconds later it slowly faded away, vanishing into thin air. The girl turned around and there it was, a barely visible light in the distance, at the end of the path that lead her here. Before the villager was able to start walking back or even question her situation, a sensual voice pierced the silence.

“Well, well, well... What do we have here? A cute lost traveler, all alone in the dark forest at night?”

A figure appeared from behind a tree and slowly entered the clearing. As the figure stepped into the moonlight, the girl was able to make out the details and gasped. It was a tall, beautiful woman, a menacing smile playing on her charming face. Her hair was black as coal and flowed down as low as her thighs, while her skin was pale as chalk. Her eyes were redder than ruby – or, to be more precise, her eye was, since the other one was not visible, concealed by the black curtain of a bang. A pair of horns adorned the woman's head and, complemented by a spade-tipped tail, proclaimed her as a nonhuman.

While the woman's breasts weren't as big as the villager's ones, they were sizable nonetheless, and calling her hips or thighs “attractive” would have been a considerable understatement. Contrasting with the demon's pale skin, all pieces of her attire were black. A stylish corset was pushing up her chest, further accentuating the glamour of the large orbs. Lacy panties covered the woman's crotch, a tiny amount of thin fabric barely managing to conceal her nethers. Similarly designed black stockings covered the woman's long, lissom legs. She wore no footwear, yet the stockings remained pristinely clean as she slowly sauntered towards the girl, as if they were repelling the dirt she was stepping on.

Perhaps the most remarkable article of clothing was a long cloak streaming down behind the demoness. The cloak was made of a cloth unknown to the girl, it was darker than the night and the woman's hair, no light reflected from its surface. From time to time the impression of something moving inside or beneath the fabric appeared momentarily, but noticing it required concentration and careful observation.

“Who are you?” inquired the girl in a wary tone. “What do you want?”

“Who am I?” repeated the demoness, strutting ever closer to the girl. “Does it matter? What I want? Well, let's say that I need to perform a ritual, which includes finding someone fit and lively and getting intimately engaged with them. You look like a fine target, sweetheart.” added the woman, her gaze wading over the girl's chest in a painstakingly slow manner.

“You want to have... Sex with me?” asked the girl, blushing slightly.

“Bullseye. Sex. Close, personal, very steamy.”

“Oh no, we can't do things like that.” replied the girl matter-of-factly. “I must save my virginity for marriage, for my future husband, though it will probably be Dof Scrom, the trader. He is fat and ugly, but if Dad says so...”

“Arranged marriage with some ugly bastard? Is that what you want?” inquired the succubus, a mischievous smile playing on her lips.

“Well, to tell you the truth, I do not...” answered the girl. “However, I have no say on the matter...”

“Exactly, my friend!” exclaimed the demoness with a triumphant grin. “I'm glad that all of us – you, me, your father, fat trader – agree on one important point. Your opinion is not important! Off with your clothes!”

Grasping the front of the girl's dress, the succubus forcefully yanked her hand away. A sound of abused fabric filled the air and a large strip came off, exposing a white bra containing the enormous breasts.

“No! Keep your hands off me!” yelped the girl, stumbling backwards and dropping her sack.

“Sure thing, my dear.” purred the succubus, straightening up and folding her arms across her chest. Any relief the girl might have felt evaporated the next instant, as a dozen or so tentacles emerged from the black fabric of the demon's cloak and darted towards the girl. “See? No hands. I hope that now, when I've so obligingly followed your request, you'll return the favor and be cooperative.”

“No! Stop!” bawled the girl, squirming as the long, sinuous appendages coiled around her arms and legs, robbing her of her freedom. “It cannot be! It's not possible! A demon is going to rape me?! That kind of things only happens on those paintings that bored nobles commission from sketchy artists!”

“Well, isn't this wonderful then? You are going to enjoy all the thrills of such situation completely free of charge! Not to mention the fact that you'll be receiving a real, fulfilling experience, not just looking at some picture on a wall.”

“Nooo! Someone! Help meee!”

“Good grief!” sighed the demon, shaking her head disapprovingly. “I'm going out of my way to sweeten the deal and what I'm getting in return? Nothing, apart from the stream of unpleasant noise assaulting my delicate ears. Alright then, playtime is over.”

“Help! Heeelp me! Hee-agh! Mmph!”

Obeying the succubus's command, a particularly thick tentacle moved forwards, jamming itself into the girl's screaming mouth.

“Much better. Now, let us get unnecessary obstacles out of the way.”

Several more tentacles extended from the cloak and snaked forward, sliding under the helpless villager's clothes. A few strong tugs and the girl's garments turned into a pile of torn scraps on the ground, save for her white panties. The tentacles turned their wriggling victim into a horizontal position, with her back facing the ground. Moving closer to her prize, the succubus leaned forward, pressing her face against the maiden's crotch.

“Ahh...” murmured the demon, taking a deep breath. “The scent of a virgin...”

The girl raised her head to look at her captor and her heart skipped a bit. The demon took a step back and was spreading her arms wide, the tips of her fingers turning into sharp, deadly claws. The girl redoubled her efforts to break free, but she was powerless against the grip of the tentacles. Twin swipe of the claws and the girl's panties turned into a bunch of shreds that fell off the girl's unharmed body.

“Hah!” chuckled the succubus, her fingers already back to normal. “You thought I'd slice you to pieces? That look on your face was priceless!”

The tentacles hoisted the girl higher into the air, bringing the girl's nethers to the demoness' face. Still true to her word, the fiend folded her arms once more and proceeded to kiss and lick the girl's erogenous zone, relying on her other appendages to hold the prey in position. The villager's head dropped back, she closed her eyes and her blush deepened – for the first time in her life someone touched her between her legs. On one hand, she was participating in this against her will, on the other one, unfamiliar feelings she was experiencing were actually pleasant – not surprising, given how many centuries the succubus was practicing her craft.

“Enjoying yourself?” cooed the succubus. “Then... How about we up the tempo?”

As soon as she finished speaking and returned her attention to the girl's honeypot, the tentacle in the latter's mouth started to move. Another one made its way to her rear opening and was insistently prodding at it, attempting to get inside. The girl's eyes opened wide and she attempted to clench her entry shut. Smirking, the demon shifted her attention, lowering her lips and kissing the girl's anus before lapping at it with her tongue. Several seconds later she pulled away and the fleshy snake, aided by the layer of spit, made its way inside the girl – slowly, but surely. The girl moaned as it started to piston as well, sending waves of pleasure through her. She tensed, expecting the tentacles to violate her pussy, but they were holding back, restricting their movements to gentle caresses of her body.

“Well, I believe it's time for the main course.” said the succubus after indeterminate period of time. As the tentacles lowered her and turned her over, the girl found herself staring at her tormentor's crotch. A significant change had occurred during the last few minutes, while the girl's attention was elsewhere – namely, a penis was now protruding from the demon's groin, standing at attention and almost touching the girl's nose with its tip.

“It's magnificent, isn't it?” asked the fiend, grasping the base of the rod with her hand and bringing it to the girl's face with a step. The latter tried to shrink back from the organ, but what she could do, bound as she was? Finally breaking her “promise” and grasping the girl's head with her second hand, the demon got what she wanted, slowly and pointedly rubbing the impressive length against her victim's skin. The maiden's eyes widened in horror as she realized just how big the appendage really was — and the fiend was planning to put it inside her? She raised her head to look the other woman in the eye and shook her head, mumbling pleadingly with her full mouth. The demon smirked.

“You don't want it? Don't worry. When I'll be done with you, you'll see the error of your ways. A woman turning down such a magnificent instrument of satisfaction? Preposterous! You'll be craving it, wanting more. Now then...”

The tentacle pulled out of the girl's mouth and she started panting, greedily drinking in the fresh air. Giving her a few seconds to recuperate, the succubus brought the rod to her lips and, with a decisive push, stuffed it into the girl's mouth.

“Mmph!”

During the last few minutes the girl's mind desperately tried to process the tsunami of new information assaulting it. The shock, the tactile sensations, the scents... And now, another portion was dumped on its plate. The pale woman's phallus had a different taste and texture from the tentacle, and the girl found herself reluctantly enjoying it. Deep inside her mind, something was urging her to accept this, to surrender herself to the demon. With unceasing assault on her front and back, it was becoming harder and harder to resist the temptation.

“Do it, mortal. I can sense that you like. Show me how much you like it, pleasure me with your mouth!”

It took the girl another minute or two to get over herself, but eventually she caved in and started moving her lips, clumsily trying to stimulate the large organ between them. Such efforts were soon rewarded – letting herself go, the succubus reached her climax and unloaded a generous offering of cream down the girl's throat.

“Nicely done.” said the futanari, pulling her rod out of its sleeve. “Here, let me reward you.”

As the demon began walking around her plaything, her phallus was already hard and ready to go, bobbing in accord with her steps. Meanwhile, the tentacle extracted itself from the girl's rear and receded into the cloak. Upon reaching her goal, the fiend crouched and planted a particularly steamy kiss onto the girl's pretty rump. Straightening up, she grasped one of the girl's buttocks and positioned her rod against the girl's only virgin opening.

“Hold on, my dear. It will hurt a bit.”

“Ungh!”

One movement of the demon's hips and the meaty sword found its mark, plunging into the girl's depths, tearing through her hymen and wringing a gasp out of the girl's lips. The pain, however, was short-lived, as the girl tumbled head-first into abyss of pleasure. As the succubus's motions fell into a rhythm, a range of emotions passed through the girl's face: wide-eyed surprise, teeth-clenched endurance and, finally, unbridled, eye-rolled, tongue-lolled ecstasy.

“That's it, girl. Let the lust flow through you.” urged the demoness, slapping the girl's behind with her palm, her own callipygean posterior moving back and forth in rapid succession.

“Ah! Ah! Uh!”

Minutes passed and no words were exchanged, both participants too focused on their union. And then...

“Ahh!” moaned the succubus, leaning forward and throwing her arms around her lover's waist, her rhythm quickening. “Take my seed, human!”

Somehow, the word “seed” managed to penetrate the fog of pleasure clouding the girl's mind and she turned her head, weakly trying to protest.

“Ah! Ah! No-ah! Ah! You ca-ah! Pregna-ah! Ah!”

Ignoring the pleas, the futanari closed her eyes and grabbed the girl's bountiful chest, squeezing the squishy flesh while her pecker administered a large helping of spunk into her prey.

“Don't worry, sweetheart.” said the succubus after a while, pulling her white-stained rod out of the girl. “You won't get pregnant. I'm not stupid enough to give humans a demonic child to research or train for vengeance.”

After these words the girl's head dropped down – relieved that she was at least spared from unwanted burden, her mind returned to savoring the sensations thrown at her.

“Now, what else can we do with you... Aha!”

More tentacles emerged from the cloak – however, instead of grabbing or violating the human they piled themselves onto the ground beneath the girl. Following their lead, the appendages holding the girl lowered her onto the resulting squishy mound. When they finished their work, the demoness climbed on top of the girl and lined her pecker against the girl's anus. Already well lubed with juices of the duo, the rod slid in without a hitch. A satisfying “smack” echoed through the clearing as the monster's crotch collided with the girl's full buttocks. Then again, and again.

“How is it, darling?” whispered the fiend into the girl's ear, her arms gently embracing her prey. “Aren't you happy that you met me today?”

Her questions found no answers, for the throes of pleasure wracking the girl's body weren't exactly helping the latter in formulating an adequate answer. Satisfied with the lack of response, the futanari returned her attention to her partner's body, playfully licking and kissing the girl's cheek.

It wasn't too long before the lovemaking reached its culmination. With a contented sigh, the succubus reached her peak and her penis bulged with pressure, pumping a massive load into the girl's hind hole. As the pleasure subsided, the fiend pulled herself out of the girl, a satisfied grin plastered on her face.

Rising from her “bed”, the demoness observed her handiwork. The girl was a drooling mess, passed out from the intensity of their copulation. Her anus was overflowing with demonic sperm, the white substance slowly escaping the confines of her body and making its way onto the tentacles below. Smiling, the woman turned away, her tentacles disappearing in the darkness of her cloak and leaving the girl lying on the ground in a spreading white puddle. No point in lingering anymore. A second later, her phallus vanished into nothingness and so did the traces of coitus on her body, her scarce clothing fresh and speckless once more.

Walking away from the clearing, the succubus raised her right hand and looked at it. A small crystal appeared in the air above her palm, its surface rippling with various hues of white.

“My... Someone's brimming with vitality.” murmured the demon, hiding the crystal and picking up her pace. “A few more such encounters and I'll run out of spare crystals. And my new friend will make it back to the village before dawn, with enough energy left to raise ruckus...” She added with a smirk.

***

Several months later, under the bright morning sun, a herd of sheep was moving across the field. A young man was watching over the herd, although “watching” was not exactly the right word in this case. His posture was limp and his head hanged low, his eyes looked at the animals but were not seeing them. A pair of peasants were leaning over the nearby fence.

“What's wrong with Hector?” asked one of the peasants. “He has always been as happy as a clam.”

“It's because of a girl. Do you know the butcher's daughter? A pretty blonde with a pair of melons? Because of her.” answered his companion.

“Ah, unrequited love... Every girl in the village is at his beck and call, yet the only one who-”

“No, nothing of the sort!” interrupted the second one. “From what I know, she happened to be passing by when he was taking a leak. He made some sort of dirty joke and she calmly told him that maybe he can make a squirrel happy with his thing, but it would take more than a toothpick to impress her. Apparently, the remark hit him hard...”

“What?” gasped the first one, goggling at his friend in disbelief. “It's Hector we are talking about! It would take a jester or, ehm, a seasoned horse rider to tell that to him!”

“Well, maybe she's not as innocent as everyone tells... By the way, about horse riding...”

The peasant looked around, leaned closer to his friend and lowered his voice.

“Two days ago I had a business to attend to, and happened to pass by Merton's house. In the back of his yard, a new painting was set up to dry. Curious, I approached the fence and took a closer look...”

 


End file.
